P.J. Plauger would have us begin this review with a definition:
caf-feine \ka-'fen, 'ka-,\ n[G kaffein, fr. kafee coffee, fr. F cafe']
(ca. 1828): a bitter alkaloid C8H10N4O2 found esp. in coffee, tea, and
kola nuts and used medicinally as a stimulant and diuretic.
Much has happened in the Cola wars to date, and the intent here is to bring you up to speed on what seven leading contenders have to offer today. Table 1 shows a comparison of basic features, Table 2 compares performance, and Table 3 ranks the products on a variety of tests.
Diet Coke supplies the user with excellent documentation, taking care to list a variety of vitamins and minerals of which it supplies less than 2% of the U.S. Recommended Allowances (U.S. RDA). The documentation is not perfect, however; one particular problem is sloppy indexing. Diet Coke notes that the product contains phenylalanine, a danger to phenylketoneurics, but does so in tiny letters on the front of the can, not with the ingredients where one would naturally search for it (by contrast, Diet Pepsi places this information with the other ingredients in a bright red color).
A toll-free help line is provided to support all the Coke products--their commercials play in the background while you are on hold. Diet Coke is an excellent reproduction of the market leader and maintains its good performance for programmers while nodding to the increased health-consciousness of the world today.
Mountain Dew's taste is sickly sweet--the refreshing images of people splashing around in ponds are clearly in reference to the energy derived from the drink's effect, not the taste. And the participants in the ads are certainly not programmers (imagine--swimming!). The scouring test was disappointing--the tiny bubbles seemed buried by the high fructose corn syrup.
Documentation was generally good, with more information revealed about chemical content than any product except Diet Coke. A toll-free help number is offered on the can and questions to the technical support staff were handled efficiently and pleasantly.
Mountain Dew is still sporting its peace-and-love 1960s logo. The outdated packaging combined with levels of caffeine and sugar that show almost total disregard for the 1980s health-consciousness reveal parent Pepsico's intent to market Mountain Dew as a niche product. With only Jolt to battle head-to-head on the high end, that's not such a bad idea.
Pepsi offers a toll-free help line and has adequate documentation, but finished at the bottom of the heap in the Grindstone (teeth-grinding after one six-pack slurped down in a two-hour period), ANSI (American Neurological Speed Institute) conformity, and compatibility with UNIX programmers. Although drinking Pepsi while chained to a 100,000 line Ada program for 36 hours will not make you a raving maniac, it probably won't keep you awake either. John Scully left for Apple years ago, and we cannot recommend this product for serious programmers.
Coke's performance matches its siblings at 46 mg. of caffeine per can, topping all but the specialty pops aimed directly at software developers. With three relatively high-performance products to choose from in the Coke family, a programmer really can have it all.
Documentation is thin for Classic Coke drinkers and thus tends to favor users who have some familiarity with the product. What's more, the toll-free help number was not printed on any of the cans we tested! While clearly a stalwart and founding member of the caffeine collection, advantages offered by a number of competitors may be worth a taste before settling on the real thing.
Despite this, Dr. P weighs in as a reasonable choice for programmers. The taste is somewhat lemony, light, and fruity. Documentation is good, but Dr. P lacks a toll-free number for support. When I did call technical support, the Pepper People seemed confused. I bounced seven times before finding the right person at the right number. However, once I got there, support was excellent and very cordial.
Although Dr. Pepper cannot be recommended outright due to its mediocre performance, slipping a few in between a long night of Classic Cokes may be just the change you need.
Jolt's user interface is good, containing the bite and "look and feel" of Classic Coke and winning the scouring test. Performance is stellar with 32% more caffeine than Mountain Dew, 55% more than the Coke family, and a whopping 85% more than Pepsi. Unfortunately, none of these percentages back up the slogan aimed most directly at the programming market: "twice the caffeine."
While documentation is adequate, technical support was rather dismal. Jolt had the ambience of a small company, with the receptionist answering my questions in an annoyed manner. She said the company doesn't release information on sugar content, which is odd for a company that boasts about it on the can. When pressed about the "twice the caffeine" claim, she said it referred to sodas other than the ones we tested but wouldn't reveal which ones.
Despite a shaky feeling about the company's ethics, programmers will find much to like in a can of Jolt. The only side effect may be too much of a good thing--the Grindstone test left me unable to bear the sight of a monitor, and soon found me lurching from lane to lane at 80 mph on Rte. 101, alternately screeching at songs on the radio and babbling incoherently to myself about RISC chips. Use Jolt with caution.
Any member of the Coke family can be recommended for general-purpose long bouts of coding and the company is to be lauded for maintaining performance levels in its newest releases. Jolt, the hands-down winner in pure performance, is too jarring to be recommended for prolonged use, but can be excellent for short bursts ofr quick patches. Based on overall excellence, the winner and sultan of swig for programmer productivity is still Mountain Dew.
Classic Coca Diet Mountain Dr. Coke Cola Coke Dew Jolt Pepsi Pepper
Carbonated water Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes High-fructose corn- syrup/sugar Yes Yes No Yes Yes Yes Yes Caramel color Yes Yes Yes No Yes Yes Yes Phosphoric acid Yes Yes Yes No Yes Yes Yes Caffeine Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Citric acid No No Yes Yes Yes Yes No Sodium benzoate ("A preservative") No No No Yes No No Yes Potassium benzoate No No Yes No No No No Natural flavorings Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Proud sponsor of the U.S. Olympic Team Yes Yes Yes No No No No All-aluminum can Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Toll-free help number Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes No
Classic Coca Diet Mountain Dr. Coke Cola Coke Dew Jolt Pepsi Pepper
Calories(per 12 fl. oz.) 144 154 0 179 170 159 144 Sugar (grams/12 fl. oz.) 37.20 40.00 .30 44.40 NA 39.60 38.00 Caffeine (mg/12 fl. oz.) 46.00 46.00 46.00 54.00 71.20 38.40 40.80
Classic Coca Diet Mountain Dr. Coke Cola Coke Dew Jolt Pepsi Pepper
Compatibility with Unix Programmers 2 6 3 1 4 7 5 Scouring effect 4 2 3 7 1 6 5 Wetstone(1) 3 2 1 5 4 6 7 Grindstone(2) 3 4 5 2 1 7 6 ANSI Conformity(3) 3 5 4 1 2 7 6 Sleeve of Eratosthenes(4) 4 3 7 1 2 5 6
-- -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- | Paul R. Peterson - CUSA, Inc. - Salt Lake City, UT | | email: cusa!prp@uplherc.upl.com - OR - cusa!prp@hellgate.utah.edu | |-------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Pro'-gram 1) n. A magical spell cast over a computer which transforms | | user input into error messages. 2) vt. An activity similar to banging | | one's head against a wall, but with less opportunity for relief. | -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-